hello again! haven't visited this place in ages because 1) I just never felt like it and 2) never really had the time to. anyway, my new place is
www.bringthedynamite.blogspot.com
because its with my gmail and it makes things so much more easier. I shall try to keep that one up. haha.
peace
Tuesday 20 November 2012
Wednesday 12 September 2012
Twitter is my constant reminder of other people's success and happiness.
Thanks, twitter.
Sincerely,
broken heart.
Saturday 1 September 2012
Happy September, everyone.
since I've been blabbering too many words already, here's a bunch of pictures and stuff.
point of interest: here's a link to totalfilm's list of good movies coming out this month.
bye
there
Today I met most of my college friends--the group I always hang out with. Hazman, my chaletmate, was in the area so it was a must for me to get to see him. It was great to see everyone...but then again, it was sad seeing everyone knowing that all of them are flying to the UK in a few weeks' time. I'm happy for them, really I am, it's just....something I know I have to live with for the next few years or so. Once again I am reminded of the consequences of my failure. But somehow, one way or the other, I know all this hardship has a silver lining to it. There's going to be something for me sooner or later. In a year, two years, who knows how long it'll take? My dream of studying overseas may take even more than that.
As cliche as it sounds: when there's a will, there's a way. and I'm more determined than ever to try and make it come true. I'm not keeping this studying overseas mission as an obsession, or to prove myself to my family and my peers. It's really just something I genuinely want. My dreams haven't ended. There's something great out there for me.
It's there, I know it.
As cliche as it sounds: when there's a will, there's a way. and I'm more determined than ever to try and make it come true. I'm not keeping this studying overseas mission as an obsession, or to prove myself to my family and my peers. It's really just something I genuinely want. My dreams haven't ended. There's something great out there for me.
It's there, I know it.
Saturday 18 August 2012
Reflect. Record. Repeat.
I'm still bummed about the whole results thing. I mean, who wouldn't be? It's hard times like these that really sink in and cuts deep. It hurts how I've let down so many people, including myself. It hurts how I'll be stuck here while my friends enjoy themselves in the UK, living the best years of their lives. I know I shouldn't be thinking about the hurt, but how in the world do I look away from something staring directly at me in the face?
Today I met up with Nab, my best friend since forever. She, of course, met her requirements and will be flying off to Warwick in a few weeks time. It was sweet of her to come out and see me, and listen to me pouring everything out while also telling her my future plans here. I love her for that. Tonight I realised that she was actually gonna go away and do her degree for three years. It hit me like a bullet train---like I got hit by a train because I forgot I was standing on railroad tracks. I'm going to miss her. So. fucking. much. But I have to keep reminding myself that it'll be okay, there's a reason for everything.
"Record it", she said to me. "Write this moment down so you can look back and know that you got over it". So here I am. Expressing myself over one of the toughest moments in my life so far. For this, I have prepared a message:
Dear Future Irsyad,
I hope this finds you in a positive manner. Meaning that, when you look back at this blog a year or two in the future, you would have already achieved things you can be proud of. I hope that, with all my heart, this hurdle has effectively motivated you to do better in everything you do. I hope that you have learned to prioritise, learned self-control, and that you have been a good servant to Allah. I hope that you have done your parents proud, and yourself too. If you have, well done. If not.....no. There is no if not. I hope you made it a mission; something that you HAVE to do, no matter how much it takes. I hope you've learned to strive and put every effort you can into succeeding. InsyaAllah, you're doing what you love and you're excelling in it.
Never give up. Keep moving forward.
And always, always, pray.
Today I met up with Nab, my best friend since forever. She, of course, met her requirements and will be flying off to Warwick in a few weeks time. It was sweet of her to come out and see me, and listen to me pouring everything out while also telling her my future plans here. I love her for that. Tonight I realised that she was actually gonna go away and do her degree for three years. It hit me like a bullet train---like I got hit by a train because I forgot I was standing on railroad tracks. I'm going to miss her. So. fucking. much. But I have to keep reminding myself that it'll be okay, there's a reason for everything.
"Record it", she said to me. "Write this moment down so you can look back and know that you got over it". So here I am. Expressing myself over one of the toughest moments in my life so far. For this, I have prepared a message:
Dear Future Irsyad,
I hope this finds you in a positive manner. Meaning that, when you look back at this blog a year or two in the future, you would have already achieved things you can be proud of. I hope that, with all my heart, this hurdle has effectively motivated you to do better in everything you do. I hope that you have learned to prioritise, learned self-control, and that you have been a good servant to Allah. I hope that you have done your parents proud, and yourself too. If you have, well done. If not.....no. There is no if not. I hope you made it a mission; something that you HAVE to do, no matter how much it takes. I hope you've learned to strive and put every effort you can into succeeding. InsyaAllah, you're doing what you love and you're excelling in it.
Never give up. Keep moving forward.
And always, always, pray.
Tuesday 14 August 2012
"Missed it by that much."
I didn't expect a breakdown like this, because I never wanted or envisioned a situation like this. In my hopeful mind it was always "study, do exams, fly". It was never "study, do exams, don't meet requirements, don't fly". When I saw my results I didn't know how to react. I just sat there, stared, and then my hand went straight to my heart as I yelled in disbelief and frustration. Cried for hours. Like a bitch.
This is one of, if not THE biggest disappointment in my life. I already had a scholarship in my hands, and had one shot at getting the grades I needed...and I blew it. I let down myself, I let down my parents, I let down my dreams and future. But my parents...God only knows how much they care for me. They were so supportive. They felt as disappointed as I was, of course..but they gave me words of encouragement. "Don't give up", they said to me. "Allah has plans like this for a reason. You need to learn to pick yourself up and decide what you're going to do next".
Today was painful. Today was sorrow. Today was encouragement. Today was support. Today was jealousy. Today was despair. Today was renewed hope.
Today was one of the worst and best days of my life.
It's not over yet, though. There's a small bubble of hope in me that prays for a miracle to happen---like Manchester accepting my appeal, and Axiata still willing to sponsor me. I don't know. It's highly unlikely, but there's no harm in trying. Whatever happens, this day will scar me for the rest of my life. This will be my motivation to do better, to be a better person, to stop letting my parents down.
Tomorrow's a new day, and I'm not gonna let that go to waste. InsyaAllah, all will be well. I pray that Allah gives me the strength to get through this. There's a reason for everything.
But I can't deny that it hurts.
This is one of, if not THE biggest disappointment in my life. I already had a scholarship in my hands, and had one shot at getting the grades I needed...and I blew it. I let down myself, I let down my parents, I let down my dreams and future. But my parents...God only knows how much they care for me. They were so supportive. They felt as disappointed as I was, of course..but they gave me words of encouragement. "Don't give up", they said to me. "Allah has plans like this for a reason. You need to learn to pick yourself up and decide what you're going to do next".
Today was painful. Today was sorrow. Today was encouragement. Today was support. Today was jealousy. Today was despair. Today was renewed hope.
Today was one of the worst and best days of my life.
It's not over yet, though. There's a small bubble of hope in me that prays for a miracle to happen---like Manchester accepting my appeal, and Axiata still willing to sponsor me. I don't know. It's highly unlikely, but there's no harm in trying. Whatever happens, this day will scar me for the rest of my life. This will be my motivation to do better, to be a better person, to stop letting my parents down.
Tomorrow's a new day, and I'm not gonna let that go to waste. InsyaAllah, all will be well. I pray that Allah gives me the strength to get through this. There's a reason for everything.
But I can't deny that it hurts.
Friday 13 July 2012
Saturday 7 July 2012
the remains of the day
Life's been pretty swell recently. As soon as I was done with KY, I hung out and did all kinds of shit with a lot of friends. The highlight of my holiday was Langkawi, where I spent four days and three nights with my college mates and had one of the greatest trips of my life. Immediately after that, I started working at The Green Beret to earn some cash. Ohhh boy was I reminded how much the working life sucks. It's only been three days and I'm already bored beyond all reason.
I'm not sure what to write about right now. Too many things going on at once. I'll probably complain about the world and life's sense of humour some time later.
FUCK THE FREE WORLD.
I'm not sure what to write about right now. Too many things going on at once. I'll probably complain about the world and life's sense of humour some time later.
FUCK THE FREE WORLD.
Friday 6 July 2012
Monday 25 June 2012
KY
I think it's about time I made a post about the end of kyuem, the college I've been in for the last two years. I loved the place ever since the first day I stepped in there. I was excited since day 1 and knew that it was gonna be a good thing. My chaletmates, my friends, my teachers.. this community that I've stayed with for 2 years really taught me a lot. I grew more mature. I studied harder. I understood more aspects of life: culture, religion, questionable authority, harmony, future plans. The friends I've made here are the best people I've ever had the fortune to meet. Because of KY, I have friends from all over Malaysia!
I nearly burst into tears when I hugged Hazman goodbye. Also when I was saying goodbye to Zameer and Fifi. They were my companions, they were the people I literally lived with. We shared bathrooms, cups, food, cutlery, laundry soap, ampaians, the common room... and to think that all that already ended.
Time just loves to fly so fast.
Thank you, ky. Thank you for everything. Thank you for giving me something what others can only dream of. True friendship.
I nearly burst into tears when I hugged Hazman goodbye. Also when I was saying goodbye to Zameer and Fifi. They were my companions, they were the people I literally lived with. We shared bathrooms, cups, food, cutlery, laundry soap, ampaians, the common room... and to think that all that already ended.
Time just loves to fly so fast.
Thank you, ky. Thank you for everything. Thank you for giving me something what others can only dream of. True friendship.
Sunday 17 June 2012
Liberation
I am free from A Levels. Yes, I'm relieved, but mostly scared of the grades that I'll get. If I don't get them, I don't fly. Simple as that. and I've accepted it.
so YES, FREE! :D feels like I can do anything. I feel like learning something new, or downloading thousands of movies, or starting my own band project. Suddenly, life has so many options.
but I was thinking of stocking up a kick-ass movie collection. I want an entire hard disk of movies; pop culture, oscar winners, comic movies and the like. I want a hard disk that has everything and anything I could ever need for entertainment. I want a hard disk in general. Lol so I should start off with buying one. I wanna pen down my list of movies here just so I actually put it down somewhere and not forget. This is just the start of my going-to-be massive collection.
Chronicle
Dirty Harry
The Last of The Mohicans
The King's Speech
Solaris
Hoosiers
Malcolm X
The Manchurian Candidate
Braveheart
Forrest Gump
The Shawshank Redemption
Remember the Titans
Cinderella Man
The Mission Impossible Series
The Rocky Series
The Bourne Identity Series
Chariots of Fire
The Godfather Series
The Lord of the Rings Series
Gangs of New York
Dead Poets Society
Saving Private Ryan
The Indiana Jones Series
The Back to the Future Series
Ghostbusters
Only just beginning. Anyone have any recommendations? :)
so YES, FREE! :D feels like I can do anything. I feel like learning something new, or downloading thousands of movies, or starting my own band project. Suddenly, life has so many options.
but I was thinking of stocking up a kick-ass movie collection. I want an entire hard disk of movies; pop culture, oscar winners, comic movies and the like. I want a hard disk that has everything and anything I could ever need for entertainment. I want a hard disk in general. Lol so I should start off with buying one. I wanna pen down my list of movies here just so I actually put it down somewhere and not forget. This is just the start of my going-to-be massive collection.
Chronicle
Dirty Harry
The Last of The Mohicans
The King's Speech
Solaris
Hoosiers
Malcolm X
The Manchurian Candidate
Braveheart
Forrest Gump
The Shawshank Redemption
Remember the Titans
Cinderella Man
The Mission Impossible Series
The Rocky Series
The Bourne Identity Series
Chariots of Fire
The Godfather Series
The Lord of the Rings Series
Gangs of New York
Dead Poets Society
Saving Private Ryan
The Indiana Jones Series
The Back to the Future Series
Ghostbusters
Only just beginning. Anyone have any recommendations? :)
Sunday 3 June 2012
FM
Football Manager 2011. (because my laptop cant play 2012)
So addictive... I cannot even begin to explain.
So I'm just gonna go forth and show my current Arsenal team. Lol yeah I went back to Arsenal after managing Bristol City, Everton, New England Revs(MLS), Getafe, and Dortmund. My heart's still at Arsenal.....I had to go back.
and now I am UNSTOPPABLE hahahaha
GOALKEEPERS:
DEFENSE:
UNSTOPPABLEE I TELL YOUUUUU
ok I should really get a life
So addictive... I cannot even begin to explain.
So I'm just gonna go forth and show my current Arsenal team. Lol yeah I went back to Arsenal after managing Bristol City, Everton, New England Revs(MLS), Getafe, and Dortmund. My heart's still at Arsenal.....I had to go back.
and now I am UNSTOPPABLE hahahaha
GOALKEEPERS:
- Rene Adler
- Wojciech Szczesny
- Lukas Fabianski
DEFENSE:
- Gael Clichy
- Kieran Gibbs
- Johann Djourou
- Thomas Vermaelen
- Jan Vertonghen
- Laurent Koscielny
- Bakary Sagna
- Darijo Srna
MIDFIELD:
- Cesc Fabregas
- Andres Iniesta
- Abou Diaby
- Jack Wilshere
- Sergio Busquets
- Yann M'Vila
- Marek Hamsik
ATTACKING MIDFIELDERS:
- Andrey Arshavin
- Samir Nasri
- Theo Walcott
- Pablo Piatti
- Jefferson Montero
STRIKERS:
- Robin Van Persie
- Sergio Aguero
- Lukas Podolski
UNSTOPPABLEE I TELL YOUUUUU
ok I should really get a life
Thursday 31 May 2012
Lukas Podolski
 |
| Looking good in an Arsenal jersey. |
I realise the lack of football blog posts on here, so I decided to dedicate my first one to Lukas Podolski, who Arsenal just recently signed. Us fans are extremely excited to see him in action. ESPECIALLY if Robin Van Persie stays(which sources suggested recently), to get to see both strikers working together to score goals.
I'M SO EXCITED :D
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